Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Ryan Bakken Needs Your Help

Columnist Ryan Bakken, our good friend, of the Grand Forks Forum, er, Herald, needs our help in naming "Official" this and that for the State of North Dakota.Since this site little ol' blog has seen 1,000 visitors in just 11 days, I thought that we could help him out with a quip or two in reference to the "Official ______ of North Dakota. Here goes:
Official Media Hog of North Dakota? Happy Harry himself Hal Gershman. Not a day goes by that we don't see him quoted in an Associated Press story. Hal, you're really NOT that important. Throw on a T-shirt and please use your quotes in moderation.
Official Third Most Popular Sport of North Dakota? 1.Basketball 2.Football 3.Hockey. Just look at overall participation numbers and the 50,000 North Dakotans that pack 80-100 high school gyms on an individual school night during winters and the 50,000 North Dakotans that attend college and high school football games on Friday's and Saturday's. We can put your 2 college hockey teams and 16 high school hockey teams at 3rd - with summer softball, volleyball and wrestling a very very close 4th, 5th, 6th. Remember, this is Official North Dakota stuff, not Official things within the Grand Forks city limits.
Official Tiolet of North Dakota? The one that got run over by that runaway truck at the Drayton Rest Area. Can you imagine doing your business in a bathroom and then all of sudden someones front axle is in your exposed lap? I don't have to go that bad.
Official Nut of North Dakota? Lloyd Omdahl. Lloyd my boy, you're retired, leave us young chaps alone and put the typewriter in storage.
Official Candy of North Dakota? Lefse. Kids love candy. Old ladies in winter sweaters from Hatton to Hettinger love Ole's favorite treat.
Official Umpire and Referee of North Dakota? Tom "The Dean of Optometry" Perius. Who else?
Official Gunslinger of North Dakota? Joe Chapman. It's better to be hated for who you are then loved for who you are not.
Official Band of North Dakota? Free Beer.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You Bison people are relentless in your support of everything Bison, including a bully like chapman who looks like a troll doll.

5:15 PM  
Anonymous M said...

You Sioux people are relentless in your support of everything Sioux. Bully and troll doll, great intellectual arguements.

10:12 PM  
Anonymous Fennis Dembo said...

Man, the post by anonymous was rather hostile and abusive, but I guess there is a lot of that going around in el Forko Grande and Siouxville these days.

5:14 PM  

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